Georgia July-December
Chateau Elan Vineyard Fest
Location- Chateau Elan, BraseltonTime of Year- August
Tickets Limited- Y
VIP Available- N
Beer Quality/Selection-B
Venue- A
Heat- B
VIP Section-N/A
Bathroom- A
Charity- N
Overall- B+
Like the Buckhead Wine Festival, the Cheatau Elan Vineyard Fest is an otter hiding in sheep's clothes (Note: otters are awesome). Once again, the primary emphasize is of course on wine. However, hop heads will be happy to discover about 6-8 breweries have infiltrated the grape juice party. The indoor/outdoor festival grounds at the Chateau Elan are excellent, but it can get pretty hot. Tickets are steep at $75 each, however, in addition to all the beer and grape juice you can drink, fest-goers are also treated to a wide variety of gourmet food at no extra cost. So hang your tennis sweater around your neck, and make sure to attend this one if you have the disposal income to do so. It's simply divine.
In Conclusion: Among the highest priced festivals, but worth it for the high quality grape juice, beer, and food.
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| Attendees flocking to the beer tables at the Vineyard Festival |
German Beer Festival
Location- Woodruff Park, Downtown ATLTime of Year- August
Tickets Limited- N
VIP Available- N
Beer Quality/Selection-B-
Venue- B
Heat- C-
VIP Section-N/A
Bathroom- B
Charity- N
Overall- C+
The German Beer Festival supposedly kicks off Oktoberfest in Atlanta despite being held about a month prior to its official beginning. The venue is Downtown Woodruff Park, which on any other day would be full of homeless people. Taking MARTA is pretty much a necessity. Ample shade, which you will certainly need on what is always a hot day, is available, but the main thoroughfare is a completely exposed, grassy expanse. Ticket prices are very cheap at about $25 in advance. Every year this festival seems to grow in popularity and becomes more and more congested. Lines for beer grow increasingly long as the fest progresses, but fortunately, the wait for the bathrooms are never too bad. The beer selection aptly consists of only German beers, which means quality is good, but the variety of breweries and styles is extremely limited (Hefeweizens, Pilseners, Dunkels, Rauches, Oktoberfests/Marzens, and Dopplebocks). They might have stopped doing this, but if you see a wooden keg being brought out, make sure to hover close by it. The head German consular of Atlanta taps the ceremonial first keg, and if you're in the right place at the right time, you can be one of the lucky ones who gets a liter stein from the display. If you don't want to bother with all of that, you could try to sneak in a liter stein to use during the festival. Und wir sagen, BIER MACHT SPASS!!
In Conclusion: Hot, crowded, and a limited variety of beers but fairly fun. If the ticket price wasn't so low, I would say skip it.
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| A double-fisting Oliver Kahn fanatic at the German Beer Festival |
Location- Helen, primarily in the Festhall
Time of Year- September-November
Tickets Limited- N
VIP Available- N
Beer Quality/Selection-B
Venue- B
Heat- B+
VIP Section-N/A
Bathroom- B
Charity- N
Overall- B
The redneck mountain vacation mecca of Helen holds their annual Oktoberfest celebration from September to November. Just a warning, the roads from Atlanta become extremely congested with city slickers dressed in their Costume City-bought lederhossen and slutty beer maiden outfits, and the town jacks up the prices for everything during this high-season period. In addition to perusing the wide selection of Calvin-pissing-on-things truck decals, Elvis screen-printed hand bags, and other tawdry redneck tchotchke crap in the town's shops, Oktoberfest visitors can pay to enter the Festhall (Free on Sundays), which is ground-zero for the beer-drinking. Any brews you purchase in the Festhall cost extra, but the good news is they have a pretty decent selection of German beers, including Augustiner, at reasonable prices. Smoking is allowed in the pavilion, so if you're like me and hate cancer, be prepared. While you drink, you can listen to a live Oompa band and wonder why you just bought some redneck knicknack that you will inevitably dump off at Goodwill in a year.
In Conclusion: A good weekend escape for Atlanta city-dwellers, but be prepared for traffic, large crowds, spiked prices, Confederate flags on pickup trucks, and buyer's remorse.
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| Harpo the Dog loves a good dopplebark at Helen's Oktoberfest |
The Decatur Beer Festival
Location- Decatur SquareTime of Year- October
Tickets Limited- Y
VIP Available- N
Beer Quality/Selection- B+
Venue-A
Heat- B+
VIP Section- N/A
Bathroom- A
Charity- Y
Overall- A
The Decatur BF is one of the premier festivals in the Southeast. Tickets are limited to 4,000 and sell out within two hours of opening sales online. Weather is usually great, and it takes place on the Decatur Square, which spans a pretty large area. Unfortunately, in recent years the festival organizers have decided to only feature American breweries, so you won't find any great imports here. Despite the blatant jingoism, the fest still manages to offer some great beers. Make it a priority to be by your computer when the tickets go on sale. If you miss the online ticket sales, don't look on Craigslist until a week before the festival. Second-hand tickets usually start at about $80 right after online sales, but invariably drop to face value ($40-45) closer to the festival date. Proceeds go to various non-profits in the Decatur area.
In Conclusion: Despite neglecting to offer imports, one of the best beer fests in Atlanta
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| If you go to the Decatur BF, you might be lucky enough to throw one back with "Anthony Bourdain" |
Location- City Center of Grayson, OTP (Outside the Perimeter for all you OTPers)
Time of Year- October
Tickets Limited- N
VIP Available- N
Beer Quality/Selection- B-
Venue-B+
Heat- B+
VIP Section- N/A
Bathroom- A
Charity- N
Overall- B+
The Grayson B&B Festival is a hidden little OTP gem that not many ITPers attend or know about. The event takes place in a shady park in the center of the Northeastern Metro Atlanta town of Grayson. Although the beer selection isn't anything to write home about, the lack of crowds and the temperate weather make this festival worth the drive and price of admission. Arrive early, because you can really bag a lot of swag in this fest if you have any room at all for more beer glasses in your bar (I don't).
In Conclusion: Smaller crowds, a nice venue, and cooler temperatures make up for an underwhelming beer list
The Taste of Atlanta- VIP Only
Location- Midtown at Tech Square
Time of Year- October
Tickets Limited- Y
VIP Available- Y
Beer Quality/Selection- B+
Venue-B
Heat- B+
VIP Section- ONLY VIP
Bathroom- A
Charity- Not sure
Overall- B+
Atlanta's yearly culinary street festival spans an entire October weekend (Friday-Sunday), but in order to gain access to the beer, liquor, and wine you will need to shell out $75 in advance for a VIP ticket. Although there aren't many breweries to choose from, the quality of beer and liquor is fairly high. In addition to 15 food tickets for the general admission vendor areas (most items cost 3-6 tickets), your lah-di-da ticket includes unlimited gourmet food in the VIP area. If you feel the need to splurge on something come October, this outing makes a great candidate.
In Conclusion: Pricey, but unlimited beer, liquor, wine and gourmet food always is
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| Setting up the display at ToA |
North Carolina
The Raleigh World Beer Festival
Location- Moore Square, Downtown RaleighTime of Year- April
Tickets Limited- Y (Two Shifts)
VIP Available- Y
Beer Quality/Selection- C
Venue-C+
Heat- B-
VIP Section- A+
Bathroom- B
Charity- Y (Artsplosure)
Overall- C-
*The festival runs two shifts (Afternoon and Evening), and you will have to buy your ticket for the time you want
There are several things I find terrible about this festival in the heart of Raleigh. First, the wide majority of breweries are small brewpubs or breweries that have maybe three offerings at most. It's great to give the smaller guys an opportunity at a beer festival. The problem, however, is that just about all of them brew the exact same styles: a pale, an IPA, and a stout or porter. If you think you'd enjoy table after table of those limited styles, this festival is right up your alley. For those of you who would like a little more variety, look elsewhere.
The second knock is how they allocate the beer supply among the two shifts. The masterminds of the festival think it's fair and a good idea to exhaust all the unique and most desirable beers during the first shift instead of allocating a certain amount for each shift. Consequently, the evening attendees and their equally priced tickets will arrive to the festival seeing every table's unique beers crossed out from the menu. If there was any offering other than the couple of styles noted above, they will be gone for the evening shift.
Finally, the festival loses points for its arrangement. The whole event is located in three giant, long tents with narrow walkways flanked by beer booths. On top of the difficulty pinballing through the congested thoroughfare, you won't even know what brewery or what beers you're waiting in line for until you reach the front. This festival isn't worth a 30 minute drive let alone a 6.5 hour one. My fellow Atlantans, don't leave home for this one. A portion of the proceeds goes to Artsplosure.
In Conclusion: A bloated, variety-less festival that screws half its attendees by charging them for beer that they'll never have an opportunity to try. Skip it.
Tennessee
Knoxville Brewfest
Location- Southern Railway Terminal
Time of Year- June
Tickets Limited- Y
VIP Available- Y
Beer Quality/Selection- C+
Venue-B+
Heat- D+
VIP Section- (Haven't been)
Bathroom- B
Charity- Y
Overall- B-
The last time I attended this festival was their inaugural year in 2011. The venue is a really cool old train depot in a dodgy part of the city (We saw a stabbing later that night right across from the festival grounds). The beer selection is nothing special, and there aren't that many to choose from. As you can imagine, you will sweat this one out in the blistering Tennessee June heat. The good news is that they limit the tickets to 1,900, so at least the crowds will be restrained, and the organizers can accurately plan their resources. If you do choose to attend, don't linger around that area for too long after the event lest you too witness a violent crime. A portion of proceeds goes to Cure Duchenne.
In Conclusion: A sweltering festival, in a unique albeit dangerous setting with a sub-par beer selection
The Nashville Beer Festival
Location- Public Square Park (Changed from 2011's Riverfront Park )
Time of Year- October
Tickets Limited- Y
VIP Available-N (Y in 2011)
Beer Quality/Selection- C+
Venue-A
Heat- B+
VIP Section- F-
Bathroom- F-
Charity- Y
Overall- F-
Simply put, the inaugural event in 2011 was the worst beer festival I have ever been to. The only thing the organizers failed to majorly screw up was the venue, which was a great park right next to the river. I think it would be easier to just bullet point all the terrible things about this one.
- When VIP guests arrived, none of the breweries had even set up, and there was no beer
- No security in the VIP section meant all the thousands of general admission holders could enter
- 45 minute bathroom lines the longest of which were in the VIP section
- Obnoxious organizers who seemed to have arrived drunk shouting obscenities throughout the fest
- VIP beer section consisted of kegs that no one ever tapped, because the festival seemingly did not realize they would need taps and a CO2 system to serve draft beer
- The BBQ lunch spread promised in the VIP ticket description consisted of rice, beans, and corn all of which were cold, because no one thought to provide catering burners. Not sure where the BBQ was.
- Ran out of souvenir pint glasses promised to all attendees
- No ticket limits and extremely poor planning led to enormous crowds and long lines for everything
In Conclusion: Everything that can go wrong with a beer festival all in one terrible package
Thanks for reading!
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